Men employ slur ‘because powerful women terrify them’

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ALEX is a 41-year-old man. He’s divorced with one younger daughter, engaging, and has a well-paid job in communications. He’s slept with a complete of 25 girls since his divorce three years in the past. What do you consider that? Is that so much? Slightly? How does it have an effect on his work? His youngsters?

Now take the identical state of affairs, solely this time Alex is a girl. She’s additionally a single dad or mum, engaging, and well-paid. She too has had 25 sexual companions up to now three years.

What do you consider that?

Hopefully, you’ll shrug and say, “I’ve zero emotions about both Alex. Persons are free to sleep with whoever they like, and it has no bearing on every other space of their life.”

However the extra probably state of affairs is that you just’ll care little in regards to the male Alex (apart from, maybe, to silently congratulate him for being such a stud), however have stronger emotions in regards to the feminine Alex. Twenty-five companions? Actually? Hmmm. You’ll do the calculations. Greater than eight a 12 months? That’s a little bit slutty, isn’t it? And what about her daughter? How is she? Who’s taking care of her when Mummy is off shagging random males in bars?

It’s the pervasive double normal hooked up to human beings and intercourse that persists, even by the feminist motion and thru #MeToo. Ladies are judged on their sexual exercise, males should not. Anne Summers first wrote in regards to the dichotomy of “damned whores and god’s police” again in 1975, and we’re nonetheless seeing it performed out right this moment. It’s slut-shaming — the highlighting of a girl’s sexual exercise to embarrass or demean her, and undermine her energy.

Australian politics has been in an uproar these previous few days, after Lib Dems Senator David Leyonhjelm commented on the sexual lifetime of Greens Senator Sarah Hanson-Younger.

“Cease shagging males”, he stated publicly, implying that a) Ms Hanson-Younger is promiscuous, b) that is Mr Leyonhjelm’s enterprise, and c) her sexual exercise is by some means related to her work as a senator.

When publicly urged to apologise for his feedback, Mr Leyonhjelm responded: “I’m ready to rephrase my feedback. I strongly urge Senator Hanson-Younger to proceed shagging males as she pleases.”

MORE: Sarah Hanson-Younger rejects Leyonhjelm’s listing of calls for for an apology

MORE: Why did you name me a b**ch?

It appears astonishing that an individual within the office can really feel it applicable to touch upon the personal, sexual exercise of a colleague. Nevertheless it occurred, earlier than our eyes. And it occurred as a result of Ms Hanson-Younger is a girl. Had she been Sean Hanson-Younger, it could by no means have occurred. Males merely don’t get slut-shamed.

So why are girls nonetheless slut-shamed? What does somebody like David Leyonhjelm stand to realize by referencing a girls’s sexual exercise?

Effectively, slut-shaming is used to keep away from rational debate. Slut-shaming is used when a person is aware of he can’t win with purpose or logic. It’s the equal of a four-year-old child shouting, ‘Effectively, you’re a poo poo head!’ when he loses an argument. It’s the response a person provides when he doesn’t have a good response. It’s the response a person provides when he is aware of he’s crushed.

Slut-shaming is sinister, and it’s demeaning, and it’s totally nonsensical. A girl’s sexual exercise has as little relevance to her work or character as a person’s does to his.

However slut-shaming works as a result of it diminishes a girl. It doesn’t matter how completed a girl is, it doesn’t matter how good, or how educated. It doesn’t matter if she’s a member of the Australian Senate, for godsake! Slut-shaming reduces her to a intercourse object. And males make use of slut-shaming when they’re intimidated. They make use of it after they can’t defeat a girl utilizing wit or brains or concepts. They make use of it as a result of highly effective girls terrify them, and they’ll use any soiled techniques to maintain girls from standing in that energy.

Mr Leyonhjelm slut-shamed Sarah Hanson-Younger as a result of he couldn’t yell, “Effectively, you’re a poo poo head” within the Senate. The one one who must really feel ashamed right here is him.

Kerri Sackville is a columnist and the writer of Out There: A Survival Information For Courting In Midlife. Comply with her on

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